Secret plans reveal new shooting concepts

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|| SportsShooter.com: News Item: Posted 2003-01-18

Secret plans reveal new shooting concepts
Documents reveal that there's much to think about when shooting a big important AFC Championship game.

By Grover Sanschagrin

Here's the master plan-of-attack for today's (January 19, 2003) game. Study this! For a bigger version, see the links at the bottom of the page.

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Note: What you are about to read is based on a real thing. The images included in this story are real. We didn't make this up. An actual real photo editor created the 'battle plans' you are about to experience. Now that we got that out of the way, let's have some fun with it.
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* EXCLUSIVE! *

SportsShooter.com has discovered a highly detailed and organized 'plan of attack', scheduled to be set into motion at tomorrow's (January 19, 2003) AFC Championship Game betweeen the Tennessee Titans and the Oakland Raiders at the Network Associates Coliseum in Oakland, California.

Documents supplied to SportsShooter.com late last night include a detailed, color-coded map of the stadium with coordinated instructions for the plan participants. These documents, obviously prepared by someone 'in the know', leave no questions unanswered – leading us to believe that the successful outcome of this mission is almost assured: COMPLETE GAME COVERAGE!

After much internal debate, SportsShooter.com has decided to publish this information – and release these documents so that you are aware of what makes a GOOD AFC CHAMPIONSHIP photograph.

We've been told (by a confidential source) that this plan was created days in advance by a photo editor working within the ANG Newspapers organization. ANG publishes the The Oakland Tribune and many other publications in the San Francisco Bay Area.

To make things easy for you, we've highlighted several VERY HELPFUL new ideas/concepts that we found in the plan. We feel that your knowledge of the details contained in this plan can and will improve your football shooting skills – and make your editors happy. (Which is, of course, your ultimate quest, right?)

Highlights of the NEW concepts are as follows:

1) If YOUR TEAM wins: "SHOOT JUB" ('JUB' translates to 'jubilation,' which is 'the act of rejoicing; a feeling of extreme joy.') We can only speculate that this plan includes the shooting of some kind of emotion. That's right folks, EMOTION! Did you ever think to shoot such a thing before? This is FANTASTIC NEWS. Now we've got something else to shoot other than SPORTS ACTION!

I know what you're thinking: "How do I know JUB when I see it?" This detailed plan is WAY AHEAD of you on that one – giving specific things to look for in order for you to detect JUB: "Gannon reaction on TD (touchdown). Arms up. Watch for GADORAIDE DUMP or COACH CARRIED at end.

2) The opposite of JUB is 'Dejection,' which is also mentioned in the plan. In preparation for this report to you, SportsShooter.com did some research on this concept of 'Dejection,' and found, ironically, that IT TOO is some kind of emotional reaction to something. AGAIN with the EMOTION STUFF! Wow. They're really onto something here. I hope you're taking notes, folks.

We did the math on this one for you. This basically means that no matter what happens, there's gonna be this EMOTION thing at the end of the game. Players, coaches and even FANS IN THE CROWD will be affected by this. PAY ATTENTION and look for it. Editors LIKE this. You can't lose, really. Either way, you're almost assured that there will be either JUB or DEJECTION.

3) Fan / Crowd shots ARE GOOD! Who would have thought that this would be the case, but the plan indicates that, YES, shooting pictures of the fans (at LEAST 2 GOOD shots) is not only good, but REQUIRED.

This means that you can FINALLY break free from those FIELD ONLY shooting habits. This gives further proof that PICTURES ARE EVERYWHERE, even IN THE CROWD.

This was the plan for last week's (January 12, 2003) game. This mission was a success!

4) OUTTAKES: Keep 'em! This means: Don't throw away any of your images! They might be useful later! Remember what happened to Greg Brady of 'The Brady Bunch' when he was shooting a picture of the cheerleaders instead of game action? His outtakes eventually SAVED THE DAY when a small corner of the frame was enlarged to reveal that the player's foot was IN BOUNDS! The next day he was a HERO because Greg KEPT HIS OUTTAKES and had PROOF. The score, which should have been REVERSED, never was. (Damn stubborn refs!) But all was not lost when Greg was named OFFICIAL TEAM PHOTOGRAPHER. And we all know what happened to his career after this. (Can you say "Johnny Bravo"?)

Remember: You might have a GREG BRADY HERO MAKER lurking within your outtakes, so SAVE THEM ALL!

Quite frankly, this plan is extensive. We've only highlighted a few of the concepts it contains. You can explore the plan's documents yourself by following these links to the plans – scanned and digitized full-size copies of the actual pages themselves. (Remember, these are un-retouched and not altered in ANY way!)

If you're smart, you'll print a few copies out for yourself and bring it with you to every football game from now on – or at least until you memorize the concepts. Digesting this amount of information could take years.

See you at the game.

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Note: The images supplied in this story are real. We couldn't make this stuff up.

Related Links:

Larger Image, Today's Game Plan

Larger Image, Last Week's Game Plan

Grover's Member Page