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|| News Item: Posted 1998-12-13

News & Notes
By Robert Hanashiro

From SptShtr Reader Andy Kuno:
I came across it in Modra's book. And now I see it in Iooss's book.

Q: is it R-I-P-K-I-N or R-I-P-K-E-N?

Flipping through media guides, the birds spell his name with an "E", not with an "I". You'd think they would have fact checkers comb through these things...

Can't wait til pitchers and catchers report. Andy.

A Little Humor (courtesy of the ever-funny Bill Epperidge, esq.)
13. Driving your fellow congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.
12. President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face eighteen inches from TV camera.
11. IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam into enemy.
10. Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners -- Hey, wait a minute...
9. Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.
8. Sex scandals involve even skankier women.
7. January 20: Inauguration ceremonies. January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids.
6. Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house.
5. During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair.
4. Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal.
3. Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker.
2. Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial.....and the Number 1 Change Under a Government run by Pro Wrestlers....
1. Before: Mr. Vice President. After: Stone Cold Al Gore.

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