| Sign in: |
| Members log in here with your user name and password to access the your admin page and other special features. |
|
|
|
|
|| SportsShooter.com: Member Message Board
OT - 21 Economic Models Explained
Ric Tapia, Photographer, Photo Editor
 |
Los Angeles | CA | USA | Posted: 3:10 PM on 06.19.09 |
->> Enjoy:
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive. |
|
Phil Hawkins, Photographer
|
Fresno | ca | usa | Posted: 7:34 PM on 06.19.09 |
| ->> Hilarious, and true... But someone has WAAAAY too much time on their hands... |
|
Mark Sobhani, Photographer
|
San Antonio | TX | USA | Posted: 8:35 PM on 06.19.09 |
->> A FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHER CORPORATION (Type I)
You have two cows.
You keep them in the spare bedroom.
Your spouse has a full time job with benefits that allows you to sell the milk for pennies per gallon, plus let them keep the cow.
Somewhere else, a farmer can't sell his milk.
A FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHER CORPORATION (Type II)
You have two goats.
You think "if only I had cows, I could really make some great milk!" |
|
Phil Hawkins, Photographer
|
Fresno | ca | usa | Posted: 9:01 PM on 06.19.09 |
->> A FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHER GETTING STARTED
You have two cows
You try to sell the milk, but people keep asking you to give it away for free, which you do "for the exposure". Subsequently, people find out you will give the milk away for free, so they refuse to pay. You can't afford to feed the cows, so they die. |
|
Tim Huntington, Photographer
|
Monterey | CA | USA | Posted: 11:47 AM on 06.20.09 |
->> A SPORTSSHOOTER ATTENDING THE SUPERBOWL
You have two cows.
The airline won't let you take them on board despite your assertions that they'll fit in the overhead bins.
You ship the cows on ahead.
You arrive and find your cows are waiting for you, but one of them has been tampered with and is milk less.
You kick yourself for not spending more time on Fish's blog reading through all his posts on how to tamper proof cows. |
|
Ian Halperin, Photographer
|
Plano(Dallas) | TX | USA | Posted: 1:00 PM on 06.20.09 |
->> A COWOWNER WHO READS SPORTSSHOOTER:
You have two cows (Bovine MarkIV.)
You read about the newests cows (Bovine MarkIV-D1s.) Word on the street is their milk is whiter and they give 5 gallons-per-minutes.
You sell your old cows and go into debt buying the new ones.
Buy you still same the same amount of milk because no one really cares what kind of cow the milk comes from. Only the quality of the milk. |
|
Return to --> Message Board Main Index
|