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|| SportsShooter.com: News Item: Posted 2003-07-31
Photodude: Why everyone be hatin?
This month the Photodude hits the mainland after serving as a technical consultant and bikini fitter on MTV's Surf Girls, and wants his loyal readers to know that although he was "temporarily detained" in Tahiti, he was neither "arrested" nor "charged".
Now, to the mailbag:
My frat rocks the house and sh-t, yo, shout out to my brothas!
Why everyone be hatin?
Dude, don't even get me started on this. It makes me want to throw up in my mouth.
Why, oh, why, dear readers, do you dumbf--ks wish to call each other names and basically act like stupid college kids in front of an entire industry?
Directors of Photography read Sports Shooter.
So do photo editors, art directors, assignment editors, basically EVERYONE in the industry you hope to be successful in.
And do you think they're going to TELL YOU, however wonderful your portfolio, how idiotic you look?
Or do you think they'll just go to the next page on their Rolodex. What would you do?
While I know many of you are basically stupid college kids (we all were once), it hurts to watch you trash your reputations when you're barely out of the gate.
Look, you wouldn't stand up in front of a nationwide (hell, worldwide) audience at the Workshop and Luau, any other workshop or convention and call each other names and act like junior high kids, would you?
So why have you all just done that in front of 7,000 - plus daily viewers of SportsShooter.com?
And stop using the phrase "Shout Out" for god's sake.
Back to your rooms. All of you. Go. Now.
This Month's Lists!
1. "Grubeaway" (term coined by Eric Issacs)
2. D2. (Canon, your turn...)
3. Football training camps (the season is just around the corner!)
4. Lighting lawns on fire to get a monopod. (Dang...that's some devotion!)
5. MTV's Surf Girls (okay, my little indulgence).
1. Kobe. (Dude....WHATTHEHELLWEREYOUTHINKING?)
2. Silhouettes winning the contest (can we stop the insanity?!)
3. Football training camps (ooh, let's all stand around in the 100 degree heat and make the same pictures every day!).
4. Proposing and shooting simultaneously (call me crazy, but she might have questioned your priorities there. Tough lesson.)
5. "Shout out" (makes me want to puke.)
Confidential to W.L...
What does a Sports Shooter female look like?
Hmmmm, I'll give it my best. Try this:
She's young (becoming a mom tends to take females "out of the game" so to speak, and who can blame them? Shooting rich overpaid whiny athletes? Or raise my baby? Tough choice. Not.).
She's hip (the Dude cruises the message boards and I see what you all are listening to -- the Dude's tastes running closest to Talya's).
She knows sports (having played them, watched them. Thank you, Title IX).
She's tough (tough enough to hang out in a field dominated by ego-centric men who have weird fetishes with long lenses, which reminds me of the scene in "Shrek" where Shrek and the Donkey, voiced by Eddie Murphy, first come up to the castle of Lord Farquaad and see a huge tower rising phallically into the sky, and Shrek says, "he seems to be compensating for something, heh?". Think men and long lenses. But I digress...)
She's cool (doesn't make an ass out of herself constantly on the website)
And she can shoot! (More power to ya!)
Peace. I'm out. Word to your mamas and all that shouting out and stuff...yo.
(Did I just say that?)
As always, rants, raves, recipes all are welcome at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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