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|| News Item: Posted 2002-07-31

The Demise of Dear Snappy & Photo Cliches
By Photo Dude

Sports Shooter is sad to announce the passing of one of the world's most beloved advice columnists, "Dear Snappy". Her passing, like the recent death of another beloved advice columnist you may have hear of, "Ann Landers", leaves a huge gap in the advice world. An autopsy after her death attributes "Dear Snappy's" death to a poor diet of Krispy Kreme donuts, Miller Lite's, Camel Unfiltered cigarettes and more press box hot dogs than a human should be allowed to eat.

And while her children battle over her remains -- the decision on whether she should be cremated or frozen and kept in the humidor at Coors Field is being decided by the courts -- her favorite nephew has accepted the passing of the torch and steps in to take her place (for the meantime, at least).

Without further ado, Sports Shooter introduces, "The Photo Dude".


Hey Photo Dude,

I miss Dear Snappy! What makes you qualified to take the place of your aunt?


Grieving in Galveston

Hey Grieving,

Dude. Get a grip. My auntie was one great woman, but don't worry, bro, she taught me all there is to this advice bit.

Like, when I don't know the answer, I'll just ask someone famous. Like Mongo Johnson, or Hanashiro, or maybe even that Steven Frischling dude. So chill, crack open a cold one, dial up a little Cosmic Blueprint on your iPod, and watch, listen and learn.


Hey Photo Dude,

Writers always complain about cliches. What are the worst cliches in sports shooting?


f8 and Be There

Hey f8,

Dude, it's like baseball season (until they strike anyway, which would WAY harsh my mellow, but that's like another story), so let's look at baseball. Here's my top-five worst baseball photo cliches.

5."Dude-Making-The-Catch-On-The-Outfield-Wall-With-The-Clever-Sign-Painted-On-The-Wall" photo. Executed smartly, this can make some great photos. But with crap painted on every wall in the bigs these days, the temptation for abuse is everywhere. I mean, I've seen pictures of guys making ROUTINE catches of pop flies on the warning track, but because there's an ad on the wall, somehow this makes it BETTER?! Good grief. By the way, the outfield wall in Milwaukee - just try and tell me a photographer didn't have something to do with that mural.

4. "The Double-Play" picture. Okay, you got A-Rod completely horizontal simply LEVITATING over a hard-charging David Eckstein, ball coming right at the lens, you got a photo. Fine. But none of this "Jose Lugo making the turn while the runner stops running halfway to second" crap. See it way too often. Just because it's a double play doesn't make it a good photo. Oh, and Lugo plays for the Pirates, dumbass.

3. "The-Pan-The-Pitcher" shot. Yes, we know he throws fast. REAL fast. So fast, it's like, it's like a BLUR man! My rule? You can blur Schilling or R.J. all you want, but you knuckleheads in Seattle should NOT be panning Jamie Moyer. His fastball couldn't break glass. My roommate's Hyundai goes faster.

2."The-Pitcher-In-The-Foreground-Runner-In-The-Background-Rounding-The-Bases-After-A-Homer" photo. In order to make this one work, the pitcher better being either a) screaming, b) crying, or c) lighting himself on fire. Wiping the sweat off one's brow does not always mean dejection. Could mean he's sweaty. Especially if he just gave up a solo shot but leads 10-1 in the 9th. History lesson: a certain SoCal wire shooter is LEGENDARY for this shot...

1. "The High-Five" picture. Translated, means, "Oh, sh--, I didn't get the "swing" picture, the "outfielder leaping" picture, the "fans reaching for the ball" picture, the "guy rounding the bases with the pitcher in the foreground" picture, and this is all that's left." Luis Gonzales singles in the winning run in the bottom-of-the-freaking-ninth in Game 7 of the World Series. High-fives all around. Steve Cox goes yard and the D-Rays only trail by six in the 8th? High-five if and only if you are covering for Tampa or St. Pete. I'll allow it because the fans deserve to see any highlight the D-Rays make being 31 back of the Yankees and all. Other than that? Lame.

Make sense dude? Hope so. By the way, all these clich├ęs'? They're all poor imitations of someone who once make a GREAT shot of any of the situations above.

That's it. I'm out. Peace, love and happiness. Time for some RedBull...
(You can ask a question, or just bitch at, the Photo Dude at

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