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|| News Item: Posted 2000-01-24

Running with The Razor
By Gary Bogdon, Orlando Sentinel

Here is one for the books, that I've never had happen before: Last night I'm driving back from Jacksonville Jags practice, (about a 2 hr drive) Its about 6:30pm and i'm starving, but I don't want FAST FOOD so as I'm cruising South on I-95 and I see the signs for a Cracker Barrel ahead in St. Augustine. Great Idea, get something TO GO. I pull in, ask if they can make me a plate to go, they fix me up a tray of Chicken/Dumplings, mashed potators, and pinto beans.

So I take it with me, hop in my rental, this huge land boat, a Grand Marquis I think, set the baby on cruise control at 70 mph., and proceed to chow down on the dumplings sitting next to me. About 10 minutes later, I see the dreaded "Blue lights" flashing behind me. My first thought was oh no, I blew through a construction zone, on cruise, and now I'm going to be about $150 lighter in the wallet. Florida State Trooper walks up to my window, "Drivers license please sir", I hand it over. ... pauses..... shines his big ass flashlight all around me and the front seat... "whatcha got in there" he asks?

"Uh, chicken and dumplings, sir!" I reply.

Surprised, the trooper then says, "Oh, ... I've been following you for about a mile, and you would swerve over and then back into your lane, usually that's a sign of something else, if you know what I mean, (hint- DUI), then he chuckles and says, "Cracker Barrel", there good aren't they?"

I then say, "yeah I just finished them, so I should be able to keep it between the lines now." He tells me to "be careful, and have a good day!"

First time I've ever been pulled over for driving under the influence of a plate full of starches.

(Gary "Razor" Bogdon, the senior staff photographer at The Orlando Sentinel, terrorizes State Troopers and drive-thru window attendants throughout Florida.)

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