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|| SportsShooter.com: News Item: Posted 2004-03-03

Photodude: First annual worst of sportsshooting contest
By Photodude

This month, the Photodude returns from a one-month hiatus in which he fell ill, rented or TiVO'd every single title that has ever had a photographer in it, and decided in fever-induced haze that the best of the bunch is ... that Brady Bunch episode where Greg Brady made the shot of the football player with his foot out-of-bounds (or was it inbounds?) and he enlarged it like 6000% with no loss of sharpness and no gain in grain and then they reversed the call the next day? Man, if only Adobe would invent a "Greg Brady" filter for the next release of Photoshop...but I digress.


Enough with the small talk ... on to the mailbag.

-----

Dear Photodude,

Arrrrrrrrgggghhh! I can't stand this time of year. Contests, contests, contests. They consume my every waking moment during the year, and then I can't enjoy the holidays because I'm going through my best stuff, which invariably leads to depression, which leads me to overeat, which means I gain about 10 pounds...and we know what that means...time to buy a bigger photo vest.

Just kidding. I know your fascination (fetish?) with photo vests. But seriously, Dude, this contest business has me messed up. I think I'm working hard during the year, I like my work, my bosses think it's strong, and then when I look at it come contest time it all seems to suck.

And to make it all worse, then the contests are judged, people I admire like Robert Hanashiro go and judge, and then come out of it saying how enlightened and inspired they are by all the great work.

Which depresses me again.

Finally, the winners are announced, and then I see the winning work, and it truly is both enlightening and inspiring.

And so the cycle begins again...depression, dozens of Krispy Kremes, and yet a bigger photo vest.

Help me, Photodude -- what's a guy to do?

Signed,

Underwhelming Shooter, Unlucky Contest Kid

-----

Dear USUCK,

Thanks for your letter. The Dude gets dozens of these complaints every year. And the truth, while it may hurt, it also could be that well, you really do suck. Just kidding, kind of.

But, you've come to the right place. The Photodude understands the pressures of contest time, and the depression that can set in after all is said and done.

So, with that understanding in mind, the Photodude is proud to announce:

The Photodude's First Annual Worst of Sportsshooting Contest!!!

Yes, it's true. Now, EVERYONE has a chance to win. No more need to beg editors for the plum assignments. No more temptations to "fudge", oh hell, let's say it, "SET UP" shots. No more itch to use Photoshop to saturate those autumn colors into a blaze of leaves that appear to be on fire.

Here are the categories:

1. Worst "I Choked" Photo. YOU messed up. This category is for the out-of-focus, the poorly composed, the under/over exposed, the just plain horrible frames you KNOW would have made a clip winner, "if only...."

Did you put the auto-focus point on the cheerleader in back instead of the diving wide receiver in the foreground? Choked and cut off half the play? Forgot to reset your ASA after leaving bright sunlight for the dark gym? Shot outside on "Tungsten" light balance? If so, this category is for you.

2. Worst "Ref's Ass" Photo. The REF messed you up. We all use the ref's and their polyester-clad posteriors for excuses that "we would have nailed it if that friggin' ref hadn't gotten in the way". Well, here's your chance to show the world "what I missed because of that zebra".

3. Judges Grand Prize Award -- "Worst Photo of the Year". To be chosen from the entries from the other two categories.

How to enter:

-- Each entrant MUST be a member of SportsShooter.com
-- Entries must have been shot in 2003
-- Each entrant can only enter ONE image per category
-- Each entrant must enter by creating a "hidden gallery" of their entries (two MAX, right?), with the word "dude" as the designator
-- After creating the hidden gallery, send an email with the URL of your hidden gallery to "photodude@sportsshooter.com". The subject line of the email should read, "My Photos Suck".
-- Deadline is March 15, 2004, 12:00am Kuala Lampur local time. -- Winners announced in the next issue of Sports Shooter

Simple enough? Great.

Here's a quick FAQ:

Q. Dude, are there prizes?
A. OF COURSE THERE ARE PRIZES. The winner will receive...thanks to the ever-increasing generosity of one of our major sponsors, a Canon 1D Mark II!!! Okay, I lied. What, being recognized as having the Worst Photo of the Year isn't enough for you? The bigwigs at SportsShooter.com especially Joe Gosen, the God of All Swag (heretofore known as GAS) has promised a Sportsshooter.com gift bag including many, okay, maybe a few, okay, maybe ONE item from the Sportsshooter.com store. (I'm working on ol' Joe. I heard from a guy who knows a gal who knows a guy who knows a UPS driver that Mr. Gosen actually has FOUR CASES of NEW, YET-UNSEEN BLACK SPORTSSHOOTER BUCKET HATS in his studio. But I digress...)

Q. Dude, am I seriously only going to win a hat?
A. What makes you think you're going to win? That's some ballsy confidence if I do say so myself. Okay, we'll look for something a little better than mug.

Q. Dude, how many entries can I have?
A. One, in each of two categories. That means, TWO, if you enter both.

Q. Dude, how do I create a hidden gallery?
A. I knew this was going to come up. Look, this isn't World Press, POYI, BOP, or even the Sportsshooter.com clip contest. In my contest you've got to do some thinking on your own. I can't spell out everything. Hell, I can barely spell.

Q. Dude, if I create a hidden gallery, won't my anonymity be compromised?
A. Yes, but I ain't about to set up an FTP site, create codes, or have you send me cd's. Lighten up.

Q. Dude, can I email you if I have questions?
A. Hell, no.

Q. Dude, is this contest for real, or more of your crazed bullsh-t?
A. YES. It's real. Enter. Win. Get recognized. Have fun. Laugh a little. This damned place is entirely too serious anymore.

Q. Dude, who is the Photodude?
A. Good try... I'm out …


Questions, concerns, rants, raves to Photodude@Sportsshooter.com

Related Email Addresses: 
Photodude: Photodude@Sportsshooter.com

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